THE DAY MY MARRIAGE NEARLY FINISHED BECAUSE OF OBIOLOR
By Fatima Uyo Abubakar
I remember the day my marriage nearly finished because of Obiolor. 😂
For those who don’t know, Obiolor is a popular traditional drink in Igala land. And let me tell you something about Igala men: many of them LOVE this thing. Almost every Igala man wants his wife to know how to prepare Obiolor.
Now, before I got married, I told my husband that there was nothing I couldn’t cook.
Nothing!
I can cook heaven on earth for you if necessary. 😂
I’ve even attended basic catering school, I learn new recipes all the time, my mother is an excellent cook and she taught me everything she knows. In fact, I’ve helped her with the whole process of fermenting Okpehe.
And Obiolor?
My mother makes it almost every weekend.
I’ve been there from the beginning. I would make the charcoal, boil the water, watch her do everything.
But the moment she leaves me alone to finish it, my brain will reset. 😂
So after I got married, I was happily cooking for my husband. Nigerian dishes? No problem. Intercontinental dishes? Bring it. Snacks? Drinks? Traditional Igala meals? Madam can handle it.
My husband was enjoying himself.
Until one day, he sat down and said:
“Baby.”
I said, “Yes, my love?”
He said, “You’ve made almost everything I love. You’ve even made all those foods I’ve missed from home. But there’s one thing I really want you to make for me.”
I smiled.
“What is it?”
He said:
“Obiolor.”
😂😂😂😂
My heart did gbim!
I looked at him and chuckled.
Not because I knew how to make it.
I was calculating my next move. 😭
Immediately he stepped out, I called my mother.
“Mummy!”
She said, “What happened?”
I explained.
She was like, “Fati, you can cook all the difficult Igala dishes. Even Ijobu that many people struggle with, you can make. So what exactly is your problem with Obiolor?”
I said, “Mummy, please forget all that one. Just tell me what to do.” 😂
So she started giving me instructions.
Step one.
Step two.
Step three.
Step four.
I followed everything.
At least, I think I followed everything. 😂
Because somehow, somewhere along the line…
Obiolor refused to become Obiolor. 😭😭😭
What I was looking at was somewhere between pap and kunu gero.
I just stood there staring at it like:
“Lord, what have I done?” 😂
Thank God I had only used about three or four cups of millet because I would have been more heartbroken.
My husband came back.
He looked at it.
Looked at me.
Looked at it again.
And said:
“Ah babe! What is this? What have you done?” 😭😂
I said, “I’m trying to make Obiolor.”
He looked at the thing again.
“This one?” 😂😂😂
At that point, I surrendered.
We ate the pap-looking Obiolor with akara and moved on with our lives. 😂
And before you people start shouting “So what happened to the marriage?”
Nothing! 😂😂😂
I’m still married.
I still don’t know how to make Obiolor.
And we are still buying Obiolor outside. 😂
In fact, these days, my mother has graciously taken up the responsibility of supplying us with Obiolor.
God bless mothers. 😂❤️
So, to all my fellow Igala women:
Please, who else can cook everything but Obiolor? Abeg, make I know say I’m not alone. 😂😂
Uyo the chaotic writer ✍🏾
